It is quite the difficult season we have been passing through in the last few months, here with the BWG family. Fortunately, there has been a bit of respite the past three weeks since we deliberately took some time off just to regroup. Plus, I had injured myself doing too much the last time at my late mother-in-law’s house and needed to heal up.
It has been a season of learning, a steep learning curve truthfully, about many things but mostly about relationships.
There is something about the death of loved ones that brings out the true character of those around you. Some for the good and some for not-so-good. When pressure is applied; the true status of relationships and people is brought into the open.
This sort of pressure also makes apparent what is really important and needs your attention, what is not so important and is deserving of being put away. And WHO is important and who is not; who you keep close and who you distance yourself from.
Of course, stressful situations also bring out (certain) people’s favorite coping mechanism: manufactured drama and the division it causes.
I have learned that not all relationships are what you think they are and are not based on what you believe they were based on. Hidden resentments, entitlement, control-and-guilt-based relationships may have been mistaken for those based on love, without your even noticing.
Relationships can (& should) be grown, transformed, healed and need to be ever evolving. If you have relationships based on a common past that STAY based on that common past and not on the present, then there needs to be some relational reconsideration and reordering.
I have also learned that one does not have to participate in the manufactured drama of others. There is enough real drama in life that more doesn’t need to be made up. You can just walk away, shrug it off and say (one of MY personal favorite quotes), “Not my circus, not my monkeys.”
Intense pressure can create diamonds out of dust, and dust out of diamonds. All of us have both within us and it is the pressures of life that promote and reveal that sort transformation.
The big take away I have had at this time is the truth of this old cliche:
I have tasted deep loss, grown in my personal authority, matured in my perspective, and thrived through one of the most difficult and devastating seasons I’ve experienced (to date) and in the last few days I’ve sensed a change in the season, if you will, that has nothing to do with moving from Winter into Spring in the weather. I feel lighter, somehow, and the emotional and spiritual atmosphere is clearer and less heavy. I am choosing to believe that means life is shifting in a more positive direction, that our season of testing and revealing is over, and we can get on to the business of healing emotions and relationships into new and better forms.
I—no, we—are moving forward into what is becoming (for now) our new “norml,” hopefully leaving old ways behind and entering through some new doors.